Hot and Cool Moments
Children need help building their self-regulation skills in order to be successful in the classroom, whether they are in preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, or beyond!
They need us, the nurturing adults in their lives, to help them learn how to manage their behaviors, their feelings, and their thinking processes. Sometimes we can teach them these skills directly, and sometimes we can model these skills for them.
Kids learn their school readiness skills from adults – Prepare with SEEDS for kids to learn their skills with you!
Hot and Cool Moments
So often, when a child has a meltdown, we go into teaching mode: we try to teach the child while they’re still upset how to avoid the situation next time, or practice how to avoid getting so upset in the future.
But remember, you can’t teach someone to swim when they’re drowning!
The child might need something else from you in those challenging moments…
Take a look at this video to learn more about the idea of hot and cool moments. We adults need to see what kind of moment it is first, and then decide what the child needs from us.
Let's Take a Closer Look
Hot moments: are when a child may feel frustrated, upset, or overwhelmed.
Children need to use their self-regulation skills the most during hot moments, but it can be difficult to self-regulate in hot moments, especially if children haven't had lots of opportunities to practice.
Cool moments are when a child feels comfortable, calm, and even able to play and have fun.
Cool moments are an ideal time for children to learn and practice self-regulation skills.
Put This In Your Toolbox!
Knowing when it’s time to help the child regulate (or when it’s time to help calm the child) versus when the child is ready to learn a new skill—now that’s a key concept for us to hold in mind.
If it’s a hot moment, provide the child with calming experiences (and take a moment to center yourself too!). Our brains can’t effectively learn or communicate when we’re really upset, so just focus on calming down with the child. That’s your only job in hot moments.
When you and the child are both in a cool moment (and that might be much later on, after the child’s meltdown), then it’s time to play together, problem-solve for next time, and practice new skills together!
Print this SEEDS resource for your classroom or office! Or share it with a parent, caregiver, or colleague who might like the visual reminder!
Do you have another 10 minutes? Check out the next article in this series: Promoting Young Children's Emotion Regulation Skills in Cool Moments.