While we often focus on preparing children for the physical changes of puberty, the emotional changes can knock our socks off if we’re not prepared.

I'm constantly amazed by the intricate dance of hormones and emotions that unfold during this pivotal stage of development. So, grab your goggles, because we're diving deep into the research to better understand how we can support our children through this exhilarating (albeit challenging) ride.

Puberty is triggered by a cascade of hormonal shifts, primarily driven by the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, and gonads. As levels of estrogen and testosterone surge, they can wreak havoc on our children's emotional equilibrium, leading to the infamous mood swings and emotional rollercoaster rides we've come to expect.

But it's not just hormones calling the shots. Neurobiological changes are also at play, particularly in the prefrontal cortex — the area of the brain responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and emotional regulation. As this region undergoes remodeling during adolescence, our children may experience temporary lapses in judgment and emotional instability.

During puberty, changes in the brain's response to feedback and rewards occur, potentially influencing learning and social behaviors. Studies suggest that teenagers may be more sensitive to rewards, which could affect decision-making and risk-taking behaviors. While these changes may support self-discovery and personal growth, they may also contribute to mental health challenges and substance abuse issues, highlighting the need for further research and interventions to promote positive outcomes during adolescence.

Now that we understand the brain science, let’s review some of the resulting emotional changes:

• Kids may exhibit intense emotions and strong feelings during various situations, often resulting in unpredictable mood swings and heightened conflict. The child's brain is in the process of learning to regulate and express emotions maturely, but this is definitely a long road (some of us are still walking this road).
• They may demonstrate increased sensitivity to the emotions of others, with improving abilities to interpret facial expressions and body language as they mature. However, during this developmental phase, there may be occasional misinterpretations of emotions. This can lead to heightened conflict and emotional reactivity for some.
• Many become more self-aware and conscious of physical appearance changes, with teenage self-esteem frequently influenced by body image perceptions. Adolescents may engage in comparisons with peers and friends as part of their developmental journey. This is one of the (many) reasons that social media for teenagers can be so detrimental to their mental health.
• Tweens and teens often enter a phase of feeling invincible, characterized by a belief that nothing negative could happen to them. This stage coincides with the ongoing development of decision-making skills and the understanding of consequences. This is what can make so many teens vulnerable to dangerous situations and behaviors.

Here’s some great news:

Caregivers have the power to protect against the impact of these changes. Research shows that parental warmth and support for emotional wellbeing can mitigate the impact of emotional changes in puberty. Understanding these findings equips caregivers with invaluable knowledge to support their children through the emotional rollercoaster (Think Goofy Sky School instead of Space Mountain. This info keeps you out of the dark).

Practical strategies for caregivers

• Stay connected: One myth about teens is that they no longer want to spend time with their caregivers. In fact, research tells us the opposite is true. As caregivers, we may need to get more creative about the ways we connect; teens are waiting for their loved ones to make that time for them.
• Foster open communication: Create a safe space for your child to express their emotions without judgment. Encourage dialogue and active listening to strengthen your connection and understanding. Try a shared journal where you can each write each other thoughts that can sometimes be hard to say aloud. Go on walks side by side or talk in the dark at night so that we remove the face-to-face interaction that can make it harder for some teens to be vulnerable.
• Validate emotions: Acknowledge and validate your child's feelings, even when they seem irrational or intense. Validation fosters trust and emotional resilience, empowering your child to navigate their emotions with confidence.
• Model healthy coping mechanisms: Demonstrate healthy ways to manage stress and regulate emotions. Practice mindfulness, engage in physical activity, and seek social support to show your child effective coping strategies in action.
• Seek professional support when needed: If you notice persistent changes in your child's mood or behavior, don't hesitate to seek guidance from a qualified therapist or counselor. Professional support can provide tailored interventions and strategies to address your child's specific needs.

While a storm may be brewing in their brains, if we understand what is happening and collaborate with children, the storm doesn’t have to spill out into their everyday lives.