Today is Sunday. Usually I'm gearing up for the work week ahead and sorting out the schedule with my family to make sure we'll have everything covered. But Sundays during this pandemic have been quite different. The week ahead looks little like a typical week. In-person gatherings have either been postponed, cancelled outright, or moved to teleconference. While I'm thankful for Zoom and other options that allow for continued connection, something is still missing. The experience I crave as a social being and a doer is cut short. Being on the move, sitting in a shared space, extending a handshake, walking about a crowd of folks and answering questions or facilitating conversation are no longer parts of my routine, and this is just the shift in my professional world. This does not even account for the worries I now have on behalf of my family and friends around the world, like the essential workers who continue work while risking exposure to the virus, the folks who are immunocompromised and at heightened risk and those living in the shifting epicenters of this pandemic.
As a psychologist, I find it natural to reframe and search for a solution. I read one article in which a woman talks about the opportunity we now have to experience lessons known to our grandparents who lived through the Great Depression, several wars, and various other challenges and uncertainties. Jumping to find the silver lining can be helpful and is probably something those of us in helping professions tend to do, not just to help instill hope in those we serve but also to maintain our own sense of hope in our, though rewarding, often challenging work. But, to actually achieve and hold onto that shifted perspective, we must first acknowledge, observe, and identify what we are thinking and feeling before we look for solutions.. Whether it is shock at what we see happening around us, grief for all that has changed, or anxiety about the uncertainty, it is important that we acknowledge the feelings, lean into them a bit, and follow along to see where they and their accompanying thoughts lead. Only when we honor our experience in this way and recognize what we are encountering, can we fully identify the unique answer as to what will help each of us as we keep moving forward. In the Harvard Business Review, David Kessler, a world-renowned expert on grief, shares some of his thoughts about the grief experienced through this pandemic and what one can do to name their experience, come into the present, find balance, and achieve greater control through acceptance.
Next Sunday may be different from my "norm," but it will probably be similar to this one. I expect that there will be some comfort in that... and in remembering that Sundays won't be like this forever.